Shiddings company

A shiddings company is a company that collects the elemental decay (also called residue or shiddings) of other companies. Usually, the shiddings company then proceeds to use this waste material to make or do something valuable, which they can sell for profit. However, some shiddings companies, such as Dwaia National Shiddings are funded by a government or through some form of charity. A shiddings company will usually collect shiddings from many different source companies (also called its feeders), giving it more diverse resources with which to create things of value. Shiddings companies that collect from only a single feeder are rare, since this is more efficiently handled by the company's own shiddings division. In fact, many shiddings companies originate from shiddings divisions that saw the need to diversify their feedership, and eventually separated from their parent company for tax reasons.

Usually, shiddings companies incorporate "Shiddings" or "Shiddings Inc." into their name.

Prominent examples

A modern example is Neo Shiddings Inc., a shiddings company based in Evil Land. In the last few decades, as companies have been producing more and more complex technology, their decay has also become more and more complex. Neo Shiddings Inc. specializes creating new products and services from these delicate shiddings, in a way that preserves their complexity. For example, Roborgo&Co has a Robot Cheeseburger on their menu, which uses nano-scale cheese-emulating robots to produce a "perfectly tuned cheese sensation". As Tech elements decay into Nature elements, this nanotech decays into a weird substance dubbed nanoplant. After extensive experimentation, Neo Shiddings Inc. found a way to turn nanoplant into a neurontoxin that works by infecting the host's brain and, at the elemental level, turning it into a head of lettuce. Oddly, people stay sentient after ingesting it (albeit only able to communicate through the cursed Lettuce Speech), meaning it is not considered a crime in many countries. However, since it is impossible for a non-lettuce person to learn Lettuce Speech, the host has to move to a lettuce colony to be able to continue life in a somewhat normal fashion. Neo Shiddings Inc. markets this product, called Lettuce Part (a pun on "let us part"), as a safe and legal way to permanently remove undesirable people from your life. The product has become very popular among the Evil-Landian populace, since they really like being evil and shit.

Shiddings research

Quite a lot can be learnt from the shiddings source by analyzing the shiddings. For this reason, some companies hire a shiddings company to do perform shiddings analysis. For example, this can tell the source company whether it's wasting useful resources. By analyzing the bio-shiddings, a shiddings company can learn about the health and habits of the employees of the source company. This information can then be used to minimize resource usage while still staying above the legal health quotas.

One time, a shiddings analysis of the source company Chasps Inc. revealed the severed head of the company's CEO, which lead to the discovery that the CEO had been replaced by a chimpanzee for the last three months. The chimpanzee was promptly fired by the governing board. However, it was discovered that due to a contractual fluke, the company was legally required to pay the chimp a 5-year leave salary of 1 million Dwaia Coins per Munch. The Chasps company initially refused to do this, and assumed the chimp wouldn't push charges (on account of being an ape). However, in the following Wock, a grassroots movement sprang up defending the right of the chimp. Millions marched atop the Dwaia Square yelling "Don't Cheat the Chimp!" Eventually, the company was taken to court, and the chimp's lawyer made the case that, since the company was unable to pay the leave salary, the ownership of the entire company had to be transferred to the chimp's estate. Hence, to this day, Chasps are most known for their adorable mascot, Chaspy the Chimp.

The murderer of the CEO was never found, despite several other murders being linked to the case.